Friday, July 17, 2009

" Hot" Valley" = Home !!!!!

To the Reader: This is a disclaimer... this is the opinion of the writer.. I take sole responsibility for anything that is said here.. truth or dramatic interpetation.. it is all said in fun.. I promise there will be a positive moral at the end! Read on.....

58 years ago, my Parents moved to this Valley from Utah Valley.. To seek employment and opportunities.. they settled in few different areas before they made a permanent home.

(What were they THINKING????... they left PARADISE.. for THIS???)

These are some things I have observed while living in

"Hot" VALLEY" (Located in California.. the Central Valley) for the last 48 years - 7 years

while we lived in said, "Utah Valley" !! ( Brooke and Lauren

were born there!)

- It is sunny 300 days out of the year in our Valley.. (what is happening the rest of the 65 days???)

- Every other house has a swimming pool!!! (if you don't you are not considered cool! ha!)

- Where "WATER" literally is an issue.. We have "Watering"

days for our lawns and car washing.. "Be Careful"!!! If you water on a "Non-watering" day, you may have a "PESKY" Neighbor remind you,
"It's not YOUR "WATERING DAY"!! Ugh!!

- In "Hot" Valley" Women don't go for the "Classic-put together look".. Hey, but, come back in about 6 months we may actually have our hair curled and styled..
- In "Hot" Valley" in the Summer months there is NO SLEEPING IN..
you ever heard "BEAT THE HEAT"??? iF You haven't done your jobs before 8:00 am... Nope not Happening!!

- In "Hot" Valley" this is a neighborhood/family friendly community but during the Summer months the only time you see anybody outside is at dawn or in the wee late hours of the night.. (I don't wanna know what they do and don't care!)

- In "Hot" Valley" when it gets over 100 degrees and you go swimming to have that "Refreshed" feeling.. Forget it.. the Water feels like

"Bath Water"!! Yuck!!

- On the News in "Hot" Valley" during the Summer months there will be a "NEWS" ALERT!! Reminding you to keep all your Pets and other animals cool and watered down.. (Poor things.... suffering!)

- In "Hot" Valley" all the "Public Pools" are full and everyone is in the Pool and you literally CAN NOT MOVE !!!

- In "Hot" Valley" we spend a lot of time at the Movies... they keep it "Ice Conditioned".. although the other day we went to the movies and I was freezing.. I couldn't wait till the movie was over to get outside to the SUN!! (Oh yeah!! that lasted for a minute!!)

- When I was a little girl when the Air Conditioning would click on.. guess where I would be.. Yeah... laying on top of the air conditioning vent!! (It was RARE.. If we even had it on!!)

The other day, my Son, Kenny was outside enjoying a delicious

popsicle.. it was so 'Hot' outside he was licking it so fast that he looked like a DOG LAPPING... Afterwards he complained that his tongue hurt and he was tired from his Popsicle!!!

- In "Hot" Valley" when you see the "Ice Cream Man" EVERYONE SCREAMS FOR ICE CREAM!!!!!!! I have seen some VERY MAD Kids when they have missed the "JOlly Ice Cream Man".. (Don't tell anyone but, those Ice Cream Trucks kinda "Freak me out"..)

- In "Hot" Valley" sometimes it actually has "Snowed" in the Winter Months... I think it did in 1963, 1998 and last year... You'd had thought we had all gone crazy.. We were actually making Snow Man"!!


- In "Hot" Valley" my kids would beg not to go on "Errands" in the Summer.. They'd had rather died.... (Please Mom.. don't make me"!)

- In "Hot" Valley" when you drive a Car you wear Gloves... I have been burned before in my car.. The Metal is SOOOOO HOT... I even remember my kids being babies and forgetting to cover the car seat... Now.. around here... That is ABUSE!! Scorching HOT!!

- In "Hot" Valley" when you go to "Walmart".. you are not shocked if someone is wearing a bikini inside the store.. Hey.. why not... Well, maybe not me.. but, in "Walmart".. I am never suprised!!

- In "Hot" Valley" we have a great "Farmers Market" and outdoor concerts and the park nearby but, did they say "OUTSIDE"??

O.K. maybe later....

- In "Hot" Valley" if your "AIR CONDITIONING" BREAKS.... oh, Man... there is nothing worse.. (I pity the fool!!) Ha!

- In "Hot" Valley" we lived in a home that didn't have Air Conditioning.. It had a "Swamp Cooler".. let's just say over 100 degrees.. yeah.. it is a "Swamp"... My kids would lay under the vent of the swamp cooler for relief.. (Poor things!)

- In "Hot" Valley" once I went to a barbeque and they RAN out of ICE.. (who runs out of Ice??? ) Let's just say... I never went to that home again.. (Just kidding!)

- In "Hot" Valley" when you see a sign that says "ICE COLD DRINKS OR "COME IN AND GET COOL"!! oh, yeah.. I"M THERE!!!

- In "Hot" Valley" I literally go Shopping to stores just to take advantage of "Their air conditioning"... but, those outside stores.. They will have to wait to get my partronage till the Fall!!

- In "Hot" Valley" No one makes fun of you if you don't own a pool but,you own one of those "Kiddie Pools".. Hey.. What you laughing about!

Funny thing is that every Summer when we finally get out of "Hot" Valley" to go to the Cool beaches and wonderful weather.. We enjoy it for a while then.. We are ready to go back "Home"..
Home... is "Hot" Valley"!!!!... For now, I wouldn't live anywhere else.. (ask me in about 8 years when Kenny graduates..!) We have the best produce.. Wonderful Schools.. Good community feeling, Lakes and Parks 30 min -1 hour a way..

Ok.. now I need to go and Eat a Popsicle !! Here's Hoping you enjoy your Summer in your Neck of the woods and you stay... COOL!!!
Love ya,


Grandmotherfairy said...

Too funny Caleen...but oh so true...I tried to drive my car with one finger yesterday...108 today??? There won't be much moving around my house!!!

A Fanciful Life said...

I enjoyed this post. It reminded my of when we used to spend every summer in Russian River as a kid. I can relate to so many things you said! We get the occaisional heat wave here outside of SF but we are wimps when that happens. :-)

Jodie LeJeune said...

Cute post Caleen, I giggled through most of it. Most I can relate to, especially of the one with the broken air conditioner. Yeah...pity me please as mine should be fixed next week. However, we've been lucky as it has rained everyday lately which cools off things a lot!
Stay cool girl...
everything vintage

Anonymous said...

Hi Caleen,
So funny! I live in Seattle and we have the same situation but with rain. The funny thing is I complain but I can't wait to get home when we are gone. Right now we are having the most incredible summer. Sun for the last 60 days and still no rain in sight. In the 80- low 90's everyday. I didn't know I could actually grow tomatos outside! Thanks for visiting my blog. How do you like the Coccocina glue you got from Cerri? I want to try it but a waiting. Is it great?

Me said...

I live in Holland and I don't know what you mean???? LOL
Overhere It's almost 300days out of a year, wet and cold..
We too drive our car with cloves on, so our fingers would not freese off. hahhaa
gr. Anna

Alisa said...

LOL... too funny!

Kara Ward said...

Laughing so hard you clever writer.

Kirstin and Brett's Family said...

very funny... and to think we are coming to the "hot Valley" in about 4 days.. really hope to see you! and maybe we'll bring some of the "utah valley" weather along with us - Hey it's only about 98 - 100 here! Loved the comments because they are so true and only really appreciated by those who have lived there!! You are always so creative girl -

Ele at abitofpinkheaven said...

So funny! Love the popsickle story!

Karen said...

Girl! We must live in the same valley!
I went to move my sons car the other day - (black leather - UGH!) proceeded to jump right in wearing shorts and I'm surprised you didn't hear me scream in your part of the HOT valley!
Ya gotta love So Cal. I long for 4 seasons - rain AND snow - monsoons, fall leaves falling in fall instead of the middle of Jan. LOL
Great post!